We might come across people who claim “it is never their fault”, they “have no control over the tough situations and problems they encounter” or “It is simply always happening to them”. Don’t we all know someone who seems to become a victim in nearly every situation?
People with a victim mentality feel as though only bad things keep happening and the world is against them, be it their partner, co-workers, or even their family or friends. Even though there might be things they can do to help fix the situation, they don’t take responsibility for anything and feel as though everything is out of their control. In addition, they might take things personally even when it’s not directed at them, like, “What did I do to deserve this?”. They might also feel resentful a lot of the time.
But it isn't just fate that causes a "victim" to experience more difficulties than other people. They may seek out disappointment because it can give them a "kick", psychologists refer to this as “secondary gain”. This is when not resolving a problem can have benefits. For example, someone with a victim mentality can feel pleasure when they receive attention or pity as a result of their misfortune. They may also get a "thrill" from showing off the injury caused by others and creating a sense of guilt. Refusing to accept responsibility for a problem can be liberating, too.
But there are a few dangers associated as well with having a victim mindset or being associated with someone having this mindset.
Those with victim mentality also known as “victim syndrome” and “victim complex” hold a specific belief system where-
No one is born with this mindset. Instead, the victim mentality is an acquired personality trait, meaning that it is the result of early life conditioning and coping mechanisms. So, with a good amount of time and conscious and deliberate effort, you may be able to reverse it. Here are some tips that can help you-
If you think managing it yourself is becoming a bit overwhelming and tough, then seeking help from an expert is a good idea. You can reach out to us and book a HappiTALK session with an expert.