It isn’t always a very simple matter to decide if you want to get into a relationship or get married with another person. Whether you’re on the lookout for someone, or already have a particular person in mind, it’s a good idea to be clear about what you want. This includes understanding what aspects of a relationship are important to you, and what personal qualities you value in yourself and others. Many times it happens that what you attract is not meant for you or maybe not what you have dreamt of. If this is something you're dealing with, here are some tips for making good choices when it comes to dating or marriage.
Have clarity on what you think commitment is
Think hard as to how you would define marriage and relationships for yourself. What are the various roles and responsibilities you think each spouse has in a marriage? Having clarity about the same would help you to look at things in that perspective and see if your ideas match with your future husband.
Make sure your partner fits in your life and you fit in theirs
Ask yourself time and again if the person is right for you and if they are the one you wanted or can comfortably introduce them to friends and family. Assess if you both want the same things from life and even if you don't, are you willing to come to a compromise. This will help you get clarity in life and whether this relationship is worth looking at from a future perspective or not.
Think about what changes are you okay with
Be aware of what changes might happen post-wedding and draw a comparison for a better idea. This can mean various changes that include cities, jobs, your last name, and social support. Check if the other person understands that the change would be huge, if and whether they are willing to support you in the same.
Find someone whom you can connect with easily
It is very important to choose somebody as your life partner with whom you can easily strike a conversation. This will ensure that you both enjoy doing things together and talk about them together without getting bored of each other. You have to choose whether you want someone of the same potential interests or not.
Selecting someone who would share a lot of common interests with you will work in your favor but also what is important to realize is that all your interests don’t have to be the same, but some would do. For example, if you are a movie-watching freak you would like the idea of having a movie partner in your life. This will make your life interesting and also increase the time you spend with each other.
Check the other person’s willingness to invest in the relationship
A relationship is always a two-way street. If you want to marry someone whom you're dating, recognize the fact that the other party is determined to make the relationship work. When choosing the right partner for marriage, select a person who would allocate time for you and also demonstrates concern for your needs.
Ability to forgive and forget
Identifying closely whether your partner with whom you’re going to spend your life can forgive and forget which is also related to anger management skills. Love does not always revolve around only intimate stuff but also the ability to prove it every second. Arguments are deemed to occur in one way or another. Make sure to choose a partner who does not just keep dwelling on disagreements that have happened in the past.
This is not an exhaustive list of things to keep in mind while choosing someone as your life partner. This is just a starting point for the conversation. As there are no guarantees in life, It isn't practically possible to be sure about anyone. Take your time; listen to your friends, family, and your intuition. Picking the right person for the right reasons at the right time will happen eventually.
Sometimes these situations can certainly turn out to be overwhelming. It is always helpful to speak to a professional and vent your feelings. You can use HappiCHAT to drop in a message to an expert and gain perspective. You can get access to self-help tools or book a session with a therapist to help you work on your emotional wellbeing and broader domains. If you, or anyone you know, requires help in deciding about partners, don't hesitate to reach out to us.