Have you ever noticed that some people never try again while some bounce right back after rejection? All of us go through the pain of rejection, but mentally resilient people use this as a lesson to develop themselves and come out stronger.
Rejection can be a hard pill to swallow. It is one aspect of our life that is inevitable. We learn a lot through rejection, and many times rejection is a simple redirection or a pause to think before we start again.
Despite the positives of rejection, handling it can be a task. Whether you have been excluded from your social group or not gotten the expected promotion, it hurts. The point to remember is how you respond to rejection dictates the course of your future.
Learn a few vital ways to develop resilience against rejection.
Accept and Acknowledge your Emotions
When rejection hits you, what is your mood or response like? Do you tend to suppress or live in denial or ignore it? This could be one way of dealing with rejection, but it won't help you in the long run!
Research has shown that mentally resilient people’s greatest strength lies in accepting and acknowledging their emotions. They acknowledge the pain, disappointment, and related emotions/response to rejection. Acceptance helps you overcome the pain, while denial will lead to prolonged pain.
So next time when you must deal with a break-up or job rejection, deal with it head-on. Tell yourself and accept that you are hurt and acknowledge the pain. This will help you process the issues and emotions and overcome them sooner and better.
Rejection = Pushing Limits
Always know that rejections are bound to happen. But what is even more worthwhile is knowing that it's also proof of you pushing your limits. Change your perspective on rejection.
When you get rejected continuously, you may feel defeated. But giving yourself a fresh perspective helps. For example, when you are turned down for a job or rejected from a social group, view it like that at least you are trying and taking chances. The worst would be to live in retrospect and build scenarios on “what could have been!”.
So, next time when you are rejected, view it as something you did out of your comfort zone and a moment where it was worth trying. Resilient people know that rejections are a part of life and that it happens even more when we push limits, but most things are worth a try.
Learn from your Rejection
This is one overheard testament of rejection. But the question is, how do you apply this practically and tactfully? The answer lies in feedback and self-introspection.
For example, you have been rejected from your dream job or your dream of college, try seeking feedback. Go the extra mile, look up the hiring manager or the admission staff and ask them for personal feedback through email or any form of communication. A lot of times you will find constructive feedback that can help you improve areas that might be presently lacking.
Secondly, self-introspect the events and what hasn’t worked for you. This will help you understand yourself better, plus give you areas you would need to work on to achieve your goals. Keep notes and work on them. This not only boosts self-awareness but also helps deal with rejection in a better manner.
Confide to your Safety-Net
Rejection can feel like the world has shunned you! But that very moment thinks about people who are your safety-net. These are people who can encourage and motivate you. It could be a friend or mentor or family.
When you confide in people that care about you, you cope better with rejection rather than when you isolate yourself. Spending time with them or even discussing your issues can help you process the rejection, as well as can provide insights.
How many times has a friend called you for help and while talking he has figured the solution himself? I assume multiple times. This is because when we are talking to people, we tend to process the information better and hence can derive a solution faster than when we are self-talking. So, next time go ahead and seek comfort in your loved ones, as those connections can help you bring back your sense of purpose and belongingness. It helps you realise not all is lost and that you can overcome these situations.
If things seem to not work out or you feel like you need extra support, seek professional help. A lot of time self-help alone won’t suffice. Several psychological services, like HappiMynd, help you through online counselling sessions on how to cope with rejection and build resilience. So, when in doubt leave it to the professionals. They will help you build your mental resources to successfully deal with rejections of the past, present and future.